Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Air that I Breathe

The last few weeks have been a challenge.  After a short break from work and study following my grandmother's death, I attempted to make a subdued return to the 'land of the living'.  Unfortunately but perhaps not suprisingly, I have struggled to regain my energetic pace.  In catching up, I have had little time to surface for air and have guiltily spent any spare time on homework.

I was at my most stressed last weekend when I made the risky decision to have the day out to visit some galleries.  I couldn't really justify the time but was desperate for inspiration and am pleased to report that it was well worth the effort.  I will share more in another post but basically it confirmed all that my instinct was telling me about the importance of persisting with my study.  It also energised me enough that I could establish a plan of action to get through the next few weeks without expiring.

If my job is to continue and I certainly hope that it does, then I will definitely need to make some adjustments with regard to study going forward but I am extraordinarily pleased that I am not giving up on this Semester.

Painting

Our current project has required the construction of a maquette and for this, my grandmother was at the forefront of my mind.

Since last weekend I have worked tirelessly to get up-to-date and by the end of today, I should be under control.  I am so glad that I have persevered and can't wait to get to the weekend and spend some quality time with my lovely family... and perhaps do a drawing or two!


Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Grand Mother

My lovely grandma passed away last Saturday. It was a gentle, peaceful passing with time enough for loved ones to bid their farewells and give thanks – beautiful and precious moments.

Being no stranger to grief, I am only too aware of the importance of battening down the hatches now and shutting out the world. I am moving slowly and quietly. I am reminiscing and reflecting and just going with the flow. I am giving myself permission to be present to the grief.

This notion is generally foreign in the western world.  We are impatient of ritual and there is an ever-present urging to move forward and 'look on the bright side'. I am not ready to return to this world just yet.

I am finding solace in a vast array of places and today it was Just Jody’s blog. She had posted a video called ‘Ode to Great Mother’ from Sacred Resonance. I am not religious but it uses the words of an author that my own mother got inspiration from – Clarissa Pinkola Estes, and in watching it I felt instantly reassured by the universal spirit of motherly love.