What's the point?

Classes recommenced for my visual arts course this week - something that I have been craving and anticipating with excitement for some time now.

I am privileged to be in a situation where I can devote time to study and so I have struggled to comprehend why I would come away from this week feeling so flat and lacking in confidence.

Often I forget that persistence is the key to feeling satisfied with the artwork that I produce. Only by fully committing myself to the work through practice, will it improve and my capabilities expand. I have an abundance to learn and gain here.

As a beginner and amongst a cohort of extraordinarily talented young students in class, I have a tendency to single myself out as the only one who must be doubting themselves.  Yet, if I know anything about the art world it is that many artists suffer the same affliction.

So today, I am picking myself up and dusting myself off and am once again finding solace in the work of John Keats. While out on a walk this morning, I was listening to the soundtrack from the film 'Bright Star'.  In the film, the John Keats character is describing the mystery of poetry to his love, Fanny Brawne, and of the need to understand it through the senses.

The point of diving into a lake

is not immediately to swim to the shore

but to be in the lake

to luxuriate in the sensation of water.

You do not work the lake out,

it is an experience beyond thought.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lysterfield_Lake.JPG

It reminds me that the point of my study is to 'luxuriate in the sensation' of learning... just relax and enjoy the process.