What's the point?

Classes recommenced for my visual arts course this week - something that I have been craving and anticipating with excitement for some time now.

I am privileged to be in a situation where I can devote time to study and so I have struggled to comprehend why I would come away from this week feeling so flat and lacking in confidence.

Often I forget that persistence is the key to feeling satisfied with the artwork that I produce. Only by fully committing myself to the work through practice, will it improve and my capabilities expand. I have an abundance to learn and gain here.

As a beginner and amongst a cohort of extraordinarily talented young students in class, I have a tendency to single myself out as the only one who must be doubting themselves.  Yet, if I know anything about the art world it is that many artists suffer the same affliction.

So today, I am picking myself up and dusting myself off and am once again finding solace in the work of John Keats. While out on a walk this morning, I was listening to the soundtrack from the film 'Bright Star'.  In the film, the John Keats character is describing the mystery of poetry to his love, Fanny Brawne, and of the need to understand it through the senses.

The point of diving into a lake

is not immediately to swim to the shore

but to be in the lake

to luxuriate in the sensation of water.

You do not work the lake out,

it is an experience beyond thought.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lysterfield_Lake.JPG

It reminds me that the point of my study is to 'luxuriate in the sensation' of learning... just relax and enjoy the process.

Focus Forward

The winners of the GE Focus Forward Filmmaker Competition were recently announced at the Sundance Film Festival. Over 69 countries submitted films to the competition. It features inspirational people and their remarkable and innovative ideas with world-changing potential.

The films of the five winners and twenty finalists can be viewed here http://www.focusforwardfilms.com/#winners.  Prepare to be amazed!

Pride and Privilege

There are benefits it is said, to learning to deal with disappointment, such as recently when my daughter missed out on a role at school that she was desperate for. It builds character and resilience! At the time however, when you are feeling so enthusiastic and confident, rejection can be heartbreaking.

I am currently reading The Element by Ken Robinson (http://sirkenrobinson.com/) from which I am gaining insight and inspiration. It's about creativity and self-fulfillment, and encourages me to continue to embrace and strive for what really drives me.

By following my passion and being truly satisfied with who I am and what I do, my hope is that my children are inspired to aim high regardless so they too can experience the joy of choosing their own path.

Little Poompkins

Now here is a perfect example of someone who is leading the way in following their bliss.

Little Poompkins has been created by someone very dear to me who loves "sewing, colour and all things creative". She is working to make her own special mark and I invite you to visit her place at www.madeit.com.au/littlepoompkins

Bloomin' marvellous my friend - congratulations and best wishes!!

Holidays

It has been just one day since my family and I arrived home from a holiday in Queensland. It was a much-anticipated trip and one that was relaxing and rejuvenating.

We departed from home on the day following my last in a job that had ultimately required more time and energy than I could afford to give. I was extremely fortunate to have held the position that I did and am grateful for the many positive aspects of the work, such as collaborating with some particularly extraordinary and dedicated women... but life seems to be pulling me in a different direction. I am not sure where to just yet but as usual I am trying to trust in the journey and live in the moment and am extremely grateful to have the opportunity to do just that.

For now however, my focus is firmly set on not losing the 'holiday spirit'. Not too suprisingly I guess but as soon as we hit the freeway to home I felt myself naturally drawn to thinking of all the things that needed to be attended to on our arrival. This morning I seem to be continuing in this vain... arrggghhh!

The sun rises early in Queensland and so did I. I rarely looked at the clock and decisions about meals were joyfully made on a daily not weekly basis. The main determination related blissfully to walking destinations... and there were many of inordinate beauty...

Life

I am currently working on my final TAFE assignment for this year. This semester has been messy, to say the very least and my class attendance has been abysmal. The reasons have been valid but as someone who prides themselves on conscientiousness, it has been difficult to let go when it's been necessary.

What is crucial I have learnt, is to get my priorities sorted... and that starts with identifying just exactly what they are. I have spoken previously about shoulds and musts, yet I am constantly amazed at how quickly they can make their way into my subconscious... if I am not living with awareness...

And that is the key for me; to find the space and time to properly process my thoughts and feelings so that I may act on THAT and not on what I think I think might be the way to proceed!

I have learnt a bucket-load about Photoshop this year, but also fortunately so much more about myself.

Leo

Ahhhh... a cuppa by the sea this morning - what a delightful way to start the day!

and something for the Leo's out there, courtesy of today's Sunday Life lift-out from The Sunday Age,

Your focus is on the horizon.

Think ahead two-plus years:

what does your dream career look like,

and what will it take to make it happen?

It's time to get started on getting ahead.

Dream the impossible dream. 

Transcendence

On the Sea

It keeps eternal whisperings around

Desolate shores, and with its mighty swell

Gluts twice ten thousand caverns, till the spell

Of Hecate leaves them their old shadowy sound

Often 'tis in such gentle temper found,

That scarcely will the very smallest shell

Be moved for days from whence it sometime fell,

When last the winds of heaven were unbound.

Oh ye! who have your eye-balls vexed and tired,

Feast them upon the wideness of the Sea;

Oh ye! whose ears are dinned with uproar rude,

Or fed too much with cloying melody, -

Sit ye near some old cavern's mouth, and brood

Until ye start, as if the sea nymphs quir'd!

John Keats, 1817

I love the poetry of John Keats and thoroughly enjoyed the film 'Bright Star' which starred Abbie Cornish and Ben Whishaw. It was directed by Jane Campion and is every bit as beautiful and brilliant as her other movies such as The Piano and An Angel at my Table.

I have been reminded of this film and felt the inspiration of John Keats' extraordinary work today, as I have been preparing for some TAFE assignments.  I felt called to create something in the theme of the sea as I have yearned for it this year, alongside a recent focus on the beauty and wonder of dolphins.

The sea in Keats' poem is a metaphor for life.  The ocean can be violent and powerful but can also be calm and gentle.  I was particularly drawn to one analysis (http://www.eliteskills.com/c/6726) which suggested that "Keats calls those who are exhausted with life, and who do not believe things can get any better, to spend time watching the sea.  The line refers to someone who is 'vexed and tired' with their life.  The din or constant clamor of life has worn them down.  Keats is saying that no matter how bad things are, life is unpredictable, and can change for the better in a instant... Keats is addressing every human being who has become exhausted with life... telling them to look to the sea, or to the contrasting nature of human life for hope and the will to move on.  He is suggesting that the volatile nature of our own lives can change as quickly as the sea."

I sense a trip to the sea coming on...